Towards the latter half of the 2019 Michelemus Term, the London School of Economics School of Public Policy and the SPP Women’s Network hosted Margaret Trudeau to discuss mental health, and the stigmas behind it. Having announced her diagnosis of bipolar disorder in 2006, Margaret Trudeau beautifully narrated to the audience her difficulties receiving treatment, her attempt at suicide, and ultimately how she embraced how her mind works.
As the wife of a former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau, and mother to current Prime Minster Justin Trudeau, Margaret Trudeaus own battle with mental health was heavily in the spotlight. Her manic phases, her depressed phases, were all treated not with understanding but with false diagnosis of prenatal depression, or fear of the spotlight. Yet, after years of fighting to be understood, she is now using her voice to encourage others to understand themselves.
For many people in the audience, this conversation struck close to home. Most people in the world now experience or know someone who experiences mental health issues, and who have struggled through the diagnosis process and stigmatization. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems grows in numbers every year.[1] Suicide rates continue to climb.[2] According to WHO, approximately 1 out of every 3 individuals are affected by a “serious public health problem.” Looking around our lecture hall of 100 people. I couldn’t help reflecting on the striking realities of that number.
Yet even though awareness of mental health grows, the stigmatization stays the same. I myself have talked with friends and family about my own struggles with depression and vicarious trauma, only to be met with dismissive remarks including “You don’t have depression, you’re just having a bad week” or “you just need to go outside more.” After discussing this with audience members after Trudeau’s talk, I am confident I am not alone in this experience. Yet, for individuals who do not have a support system in place, this stigmatization of mental health as wrong can be deadly.
This is what Trudeau is trying to change. Dismissing individual’s mental health difficulties continues to stigmatize the need for help as wrong, preventing individuals from ever getting the help they need. As Margaret Trudeau bravely told, it was only after she almost died from self-neglect that she received aid – and changed her mind. Now, it’s time for society to change how it approaches health. Only by having these conversations, and listening to the difficulties others face, can we truly remove the stigmatization of mental health issues as abnormal. While opening up about your own experiences can be painful, seeking help to improve your mental health is one of the bravest actions you can take.
While the event was only an hour long, the openness and kindness with which Margaret Trudeau spoke left a powerful impact on everyone in the room. And, going forward, I believe it truly inspired each individual to change the dangerous stigmas around mental health one conversation at a time.
[1] https://www.who.int/mental_health/prevention/genderwomen/en/
It is hard to come out as bipolar. It is harder to handle the stigma and misunderstanding . I applaud you Margaret. I would like to share a short summary of my story. I was a teacher, mostly fourth grade, also Junior High, and at UC Davis, that I graduated from as a young mother going back for degree and credentials. I took 70 units in one year and graduated with honors. I moved up as an educator at UCD, and a consultant for State Department of Education, one of 16, working with Title I Schools, directly, on teacher training and community support. I became a successful public speaker. I got exemplary letters, and was well known in 2000. I was running in high gear on hypomania. I self medicated with wine. I did not recognize my condition until 2001 when my life fell apart. I lived in a beautiful home, four cars all paid for. Children graduated from UCD. In 2005 I was a divorcee, married to a guy who used drugs and was 15 years younger. Broke. Living in our old family cabin, using my furniture to burn and stay warm, getting food at churches and from a worried Realtor, who was selling my last thing I owned. I was 55 years old. I ended up having everything I had left fitting in my car and rented a room from a friend. My adult children by then, did not help me or care, I guess, except my son held onto hope and attended my wedding January 2020.
All of the loss has not compared to the devastating treatment I got from my very successful adult daughter and daughter-in law. It has been extremely painful, having my adult children deny me so much of what I thought would make up my older years. My son went through hospitalizing me and knowing I wasn’t his mom when manic and psychotic in 2005. However, I have not been allowed to babysit my grandchildren, hold them, and not included in family holidays, grandkids birthdays, and never even changed a diaper or give them a bottle. I was marginalized and reacted like their mother had been some kind of crack whore, I’d say. My adult daughter invited me to visit her from California to Florida. The next year she invited me to Thanksgiving. I so enjoyed the grandkids, got to know and deeply love them. And at age 40 when I was 67, wrote to me and asked for a break from me. She felt like I might be manic again, and my daughter-in-law kept her daughters and my son away. They all prefer my ex husband and his wife, who used to be a good friend. It has been 2 years now that I haven’t been told by my daughter exactly what I had done, and she quit sending me a Mothers Day, Birthday, and Christmas card. I made cards, got presents, and tried to keep her children in touch. I would not hear back. I did the same with my granddaughters in California. My son has kept in touch and sends a birthday and Christmas present. I am not hung up on presents. But all of my years from 51, when I got really manic, to present have been a series of painful condemnation and rejection. I have been on meds, supported my self on a small pension and worked as a substitute teacher at a high school to make ends meet. I would heard from my son, but have been screamed at with profanities for things I didn’t do. He was put into that position, but I couldn’t take it. Rejection is one of the most painful feelings. It goes back to our very survival , when being rejected meant death, because man couldn’t survive alone. It has hence beefed used as the cruelest form of punishment. I have felt like my heart was being torn to shreds. I would cry alone on Christmas like a baby. (I used to have all of our family dinners at my house, all of them.
How do I forgive myself and them? How can I move forward with gratitude. One true support and saving grace in my life happened at 67 and we were married this January, 2020. He is my priority and my most supportive person. I am not saying he is not enough, but as a mother I feel like I can’t give up on my daughter. My son is continuing to be supportive and attended my wedding. Is there a way to let go. This may sound awful, but I feel like this rejection is worse than a death, as she has chosen to leave.
I see a therapist and psychiatrist regularly for 15 years. Is bipolar so frightening that many people, parents, are left and blamed for their manic state? I am an intelligent, humorous, and likable person. I have not told you, anyone this, for pity. I just don’t know what to do with my heart and emotions. I get through more days, but I fear this will forever be painful.
Is doing the right thing require I forget and forgive and move on?
Thank you so much if you read this, as someone would need to forward it. Janice
What medication is she taking? Does anyone know. It would be interesting to know what got her on the healing path.